The Masks we Wear & the Paths we Walk

Originally published on Substack, on Aug. 31st, 2023

"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are."

— Carl Jung

As I sit here, enveloped by the captivating beauty of Belize—where we've already spent seven enriching weeks1—I am reminded of the sheer power of nature to both humble and heal.

The preceding six months in the Yucatan were nothing short of transformative. It was a deep dive into a pool of cultural, emotional, and existential exploration. The Yucatan challenged my lingering attachments to modern comfort while deepening my symbiotic connection to the natural world. This treasure trove of wisdom and human connections defies summarization.

I am profoundly transformed—including that, for the first time in 3 years, the cloud of depression has lifted.

Glen and I are working on a new series of films to share some of what changed us during our time in the Yucatan. The first film will be out in a few days.

As I catch my breath amidst the tranquility of Belize, I find it's the perfect setting to reflect on the recurring crossroads in my life: the path of authentic growth and its antithesis, the path of perfecting a mature disguise.

The Two Paths: A Chapter in My Ongoing Narrative

In my life's unfolding narrative, I've encountered various crossroads, moments that felt like a pause in the storyline, urging me to ponder the next chapter and how I wanted my story to evolve. Two paths have often emerged: one of learning to grow, and another of perfecting a mature disguise. While both may seem to lead to similar destinations—perhaps acceptance, societal approval, or even success—the experiences they offer are as different as night and day.

The Mirage of the Mature Disguise

The path of perfecting a mature disguise is akin to a journey through a hall of mirrors. I've walked this path, donning masks, each more sophisticated than the last. Here, the focus is on external validation, on curating an image that aligns with societal norms or expectations to blend in, be accepted, or to avoid conflict. The mature disguise is a complex construct, often woven with threads of intelligence, wit, and even elements of genuine personality. It's not an blatant lie, but rather a curated version of the truth. This path often feels safe, providing a shield from the vulnerability of exposing our true selves. But this safety is built on shifting sands.

"Be like melting snow—wash yourself of yourself."

— Rumi

On this path, learning serves to maintain the facade. It's about acquiring skills and knowledge that bolster the disguise, making it more convincing.

The learning here is superficial, aimed at meeting external benchmarks rather than fulfilling internal needs. It's a path that may lead to some level of success, but often at the cost of emotional and spiritual emptiness.

The Rich Landscape of Genuine Growth

Then there's the path of learning to grow, a journey both challenging and enriching. On this path, learning becomes an act of self-discovery. It's about aligning with my deepest values, absorbing wisdom as sustenance for my soul, and evolving into a more authentic version of myself.

The focus shifts from external validation to internal fulfillment.

Here, learning is fueled by a desire to improve, to become better not in the eyes of the world but in my own. This path requires vulnerability, a willingness to confront my limitations and step outside my comfort zones. It's not about performing; the experiences here are transformative. I'm not gathering tools to build walls; I'm mustering the courage to tear them down.

The beauty of this path is that it's never linear. It's a spiral, looping back on itself, revisiting old lessons with fresh insights, always deepening, always expanding. It's a dance between light and shadow, joy and sorrow, comfort and discomfort. It's a narrative not of perfection but of courageously embraced imperfection.

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. 

In that space is our power to choose our response. 

In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

— Victor Frankl

The Intersection: A Personal Reflection, A Moment of Choice

At various junctures, these two paths intersect, presenting me with a choice.

This choice isn't a one-time event but a series of decisions made in quiet moments of introspection, in the heat of conflict, in the stillness of solitude.

Life has shown me that I can—and do—alternate between these paths. It's an ongoing dialogue with myself, a continual process of self-exploration that allows me to adjust my trajectory.

It's not about "correcting" my course as if one path is wrong and the other right; it's about aligning my journey more closely with my evolving understanding of who I am and what matters to me.

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you."

— Rumi

The pain of the Dark Night of the Soul I experienced in 2020 has catalyzed this awareness, shaking me to my core and making me a more conscious navigator of my own life.

Painfully, I ceased to perform, and began to transform.

Since then, I've become more aware of my trajectory, more attuned to the subtleties of my journey, making each step, each choice, feel that much more significant.

The Collective Narrative

As I've navigated these paths, I've come to realize that my choices contribute to a larger narrative, a collective journey of human experience. My masks and my authenticity don't just affect me; they ripple out, influencing those I interact with and adding to the collective story we're all a part of.

"We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny."

— Martin Luther King Jr.

A Chapter, Not a Conclusion

So here I am, sharing this chapter of my life's narrative, not as a guidebook or a prescription, but as a single point of reference among many. While the path of disguise granted me the comfort of familiarity, the path of genuine growth has gifted me something far more valuable: the joy of authentic living, the richness of meaningful connections, and the boundless potential for personal transformation.

In sharing this, I add my story to the collective narrative of human experience, as one among many, as I continue to peel away the layers to reveal the raw essence of who I truly am…"